Author name: Odalisque

Chappell Roan Chats with Apple Music text Kelleigh Bannen on Apple Music Country Chappell Roan chats with Apple Music Country’s Kelleigh Bannen about how she turned an instrumental part of her past into a song of empowerment with her country debut, “The Giver,” while also embracing her queer identity through her music. The two also discuss the history of women in country music, including their admiration for artists like Loretta Lynn and Dolly Parton. Chappell Roan Tells Apple Music Why She Wanted to Write a Country Song I just thought it would be funny. It’s campy and it’s fun. I’m from southwest Missouri, grew up on Christian and country and then found “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga. And I was like, “I think I like this too.” So I have kept country in my heart and it’s so incredibly nostalgic to drive in West Hollywood and have Jason Aldean, or Alan Jackson, “Chattahoochee.” And I love how… “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy).” I was like, “How can I…?” I want to feel that way on stage. I want to feel that because that’s how I write. I’m like, “How do I want to walk around on stage and sing?” And I was like, “I want to write that song, but, like, Chappell’s version.” Chappell Roan Tells Apple Music About Drag Queens Performing Country Songs I think I have a special relationship to where I’m from because of country music. And so to kind of honor that part of myself by making a country song where it’s like, “You know what? Yes, I am gay and yes, I am ultra pop. Yes, I am a drag queen. You can also perform a country song.”… And there’s a lot of drag queens who do country music all over the world. Name a girl who hasn’t done “Before He Cheats.” Name a girl that hasn’t done “Man, I Feel Like a Woman.” Chappell Roan Tells Apple Music About Growing Up in Missouri and Not “Hating Herself” for What She Was Taught to Do It’s like I don’t hate myself for not knowing everything about the queer culture at the time. I don’t hate myself for coming from Missouri and not knowing any lesbians. I don’t hate myself for being closeted and hating myself. Of course, you do. Every person in the Midwest and south, especially, these tiny towns, are taught to not only keep it down, but hate it away or pray it away. And I’m not mad at myself for doing that. It’s all I knew what to do. That’s all you’re told to do… I can hate myself for being gay at 15 and be like, “I’m a woman. I’m supposed to just be there for my husband and I’m going to learn how to cook and…” Awesome. I can do that. Move to LA, have a revelation, and write a country song to wrap it all up and be like, I love myself for loving country music and I love myself that I came around the other side. I love myself so much that I took a leap into a pretty painful part of my past in the Midwest and made a song of joy. Chappell Roan Tells Apple Music About Being Talked Down to In Her Life Chappell Roan: As a woman you have to have the absolute audacity to feel like… you have to have the audacity to walk on stage and be like, “You’re going to look at me and I’m going to talk directly to the camera.”… And I was not just born with that. Every girl knows what it’s freaking like to be talked down to by a boy or a pastor or-Kelleigh Bannen: A record label executive?Chappell Roan: Or a record label executive.   Chappell Roan Tells Apple Music Country Boys Have Treated Her Both the Worst and the Best I’m about to say something so controversial, but do you know who has treated me the best and the worst? Country boys. They treated me the nicest and they’ve also treated me the worst because… this is in high school and that’s what I grew up around. Those are the boys I grew up around and that’s how I learned to stand up for myself, because you’re not going to look at me and be like, “Shh, shh, shh.” That’s how I learned that I am never going to have this done to me ever again. I’m never going to have someone put their hand up and say, “Stop talking.” I learned from a lot of the boys that I grew up around who were influenced by their fathers and how these roles as, like, “I’m a man, so you speak after me.” I began my confidence in feeling kind of inferior to a lot of the boys around me growing up. And so whenever I pointed out at that photographer on the red carpet at the VMAs, I heard boys at my freaking high school telling girls to shut the… up. And I know that’s not exclusive to country. That’s not exclusive to southern culture. That’s not exclusive to any culture. It’s universal. But I didn’t hear just slurs around gay people. I’ve heard a lot of women-hating comments growing up and a lot of women-uplifting comments, but it’s different where we grew up. And I don’t care that I was raised to be ladylike. I don’t care. I don’t care about being trashy. I don’t care about looking sexy. These are all things I had to unlearn. I had to unlearn, like, “Actually you are not going to make me feel inferior just because I’m a young girl.” I had to pull myself up, and that is straight up why I’m here. Chappell Roan Tells Apple Music She’s Dated Country Boys and Hints at Poking Fun at Them in “The Giver” I wonder if people are going to revolt against me making a very clearly lesbian song, where I poke fun